Last night I dreamed a dream. In my dream, we were in
Oregon, and mom and Dad had just decided to adopt three muggle children. That’s
right. Muggles. Because we were all wizards and witches from Harry Potter!
We were somehow related to the Weasleys, and were good
family friends with the Potters. I think mom and dad were curious about the
effects of close proximity to magic in muggle children (which is partly why
they adopted them, but they also know them from church).
Within the LDS community, there was no secrecy about magic,
and all the wizards and muggles lived together and everybody knew who could do
magic and who was a muggle. I’m guessing that most home teaching companionships
had at least one wizard so that the difficult home repairs could be done with
magic. Chris was the only one of us who wasn’t working a wizard job, he was
working for a muggle company. All of us thought it was weird at first, until he
showed us that he used magic to get all his work done, and was already a senior
manager after less than a couple months at the company. He expected to be CEO
within a year!
Meanwhile, I was attending BYU Hogwarts. It was mostly for
magical LDS students, but nonmembers and muggles attended too. I think I was
majoring in Chemistry, but, of course, that meant a lot of potions classes. At
the same time, I was the star of the Squidditch team. Squidditch was a broom
sport like quidditch, but in the same ways that quidditch is similar to basketball,
squidditch was similar to football (and was therefore a contact sport). I was
really good and got an offer to play professionally, but somehow that
translated into me getting drafted into the (muggle) airforce to play normal
football.
When I got there, I was excited to see that my friend Brooks
was also on the team. He and I were standing together on the first day of
practice, and the coach started going on and on and on and on about balanced
meals and healthy diet, and we both kind of zoned out, but then the coach
called us all to attention to have a competition to see who could find the
healthiest breakfast in 45 minutes. Brooks immediately wanted to be partners,
partly because we were friends, but also because he knew I was a wizard. We
decided to divide and conquer, and while he worked on cooking up some eggs, I
went to Walmart to find protein muffin mix.
It was tricky though, because I looked all through that
store and with each walkthrough, the Christmas display got larger and larger.
Eventually it overgrew the whole store, and I couldn’t find anything but
Christmas trees and ornaments. I went and complained to the manager, especially
since it was only September in my dream, which I thought was ridiculous since
there wasn’t even any Halloween stuff!
Well, while I was complaining, my friend Bailey from my
freshman ward overheard me. She told me she was going to the secret upstairs of
Walmart. She told me when she couldn’t find something she needed she would go
up there. I got excited and figured that’s where I’d find the mix I needed. We
walked and walked and walked and finally made it up to the sixth floor which
was a dead end. I asked her what she was planning and where the things were she
was looking for. She looked at me an said “Didn’t I tell you what I was looking
for? Peace and quiet. When I can’t find it, I come up here.”
“But what about products? I thought it was going to be
something you could buy!”
“Robert, you can’t just pull everything off a shelf.”
Desperate to not be late, I hopped on my broom and flew down
through the stair case, weaving in and out of each flight of stairs, and rushed
back to the building, with just 5 minutes before we needed to report for
practice. Brooks got frustrated with me for coming without the muffin mix, and
when I explained I couldn’t find it, he said “Can’t you just accio muffin mix
or something?? You have magic don’t you?”
